ElizabethHarris

I had not realised till last night just how exhausted I have been this week. I feel real admiration for my fellow challenge bloggers doing more physically demanding challenges than me - how are you managing to cope? Keep up the good work, nearly there.

I wrote out this blog entry last night and finished it with a great sense of satisfaction, I went to publish it, and then realised I had in fact deleted it all ! I dare say I voiced a fair few ( slightly blue) opinions after that!

Well I promised to write this entry up and right it I will.

The issue of abuse is a controversial one for most people. We as a society don't really like talking about it, and often get quite uptight if asked to voice our views on the issue.

True it's an awkward subject, but it is a subject we must tackle. One common assumption is that abuse is only reallly an issue in poor countries, a by-product of poverty if you like. The other common assumption is that abuse in the UK is again, only an issue for the poorer parts of our society.

THIS COULD NOT BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH

Yes, it is true that in poor countries the grinding poverty experienced by many helps to exacerbate the issue of domestic abuse. That is why organisations such as the Grameen Bank in Bangladesh, particularly target their micro-credit programmes towards poor rural women. They have found that when these women start to be economically active, their status improves  and incidences of domestic abuse are greatly reduced. It's sadly of no suprise then that the monsoon season is when the Bangladeshi police see a significant  rise in domestic abuse cases.

The issue of domestic abuse is also an issue we need to tackle here in the UK as well. Domestic abuse is something we all need to speak out about.

It can happen to anyone regardless of age, race, relgion, and sex. However it is predominantly women who are victims of this often hidden crime.

Does this image shock you?

Not all domestic abuse involves actual physical violence !

Verbal abuse / comments designed to deliberately humiliate someone / belittling comments ....

all these are forms of domestic abuse.

Women's Aid is the key national charity helping the victims of domestic violence here in the UK.

Ashiana is a charity which is working to end domestic abuse (ie. forced marriages) in the Asian community.

The Mankind Initiative is helping to male victims of domestic abuse.

Sadly this is very much a HIDDEN CRIME. The victims of such terrible abuse are scared to speak out , or cannot because they know what will happen if they do. They no there is no limit that somepeople may go to silence them. The victim then almost becomes complicit in their abuse, helping the abuser to keep his/her crimes hiden from view, NEVER DARING TO SHOUT OUT FOR HELP.

Sadly I know this all too well.

I have seen close friends endure terrible violence, without any way of helping them to SPEAK OUT.

This link just landed on my facebook page: 

ABUSED WOMEN HAVE NO VOICE!

News also just in that my university Model United Nations Society and Oxfam Society are interested in this blog. So watch this space.

I am also just going to email my MP Robert Goodwill right now, so wish me luck !

Note on today's progress : things are much better  on the not giving my opinion front. Lets hope I can keep up the good work. Going into Scarborough tomorrow to investigate more about local poverty issues, and will keep a photo diary of the day. First outing into the public since I started this blog, so should get some more reactions.

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK GUYS HALF WAY NOW!

Well here I am at 00:32 in the morning writing up todays entry at last (3/11/10); and it has on all accounts been a terrible day!!!

My very first words this morning where an opinion (the weather here is awful) and since then I have been spewing forth unintentional opinions left right and centre.

This I would just like to point out, is causing great hilarity for my family who seem to be taking slightly too much pleasure in voicing their opinions loudly, and laughing merily when I spout forth another opinion and mutter "damn" very loudly to try and chastise myself.

In the middle of dinner after repeatedly voicing my views on a certain highly annoying aquaintence and; subsequently holding my head in my hands bemoaning my inabilty to be silent for 5 mins, this pearl of wisdom was offered to me:

"It's not supposed to be easy is it! I mean what would be the point of you doing this challenge if it was; just keep on going and try your hardest."

The thing is it is so easy to give up, and think I just cannot do this.

I am getting very little feedback from facebook friends and family , and was really wondering earlier if any of these challenges were actually going to make the slightest diffrence at all, or if we are all just a bunch of masochistic nutters?

Then in struck me:

The smallest spark of debate we spark by our combined efforts this week, can lead to a raging inferno of action to help end the scurge of global poverty, if we do but wait.

I could just give up right now or I can go on right through to the end. I am LUCKY. I CAN. I have a CHOICE.

So many people don't  have that choice and the right to make the decision to say: Enough, I am going to say what I think and what I believe in.

They are gagged  (most often metaphorically) by the need to be silent or face the consequences of their actions.

To this end the organisation Invisible Children is trying to end the use of child soildiers in the conflict between  the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA) and the Government of Uganda.

If you want to find out what happens to a child when they are forced to fight in brutal rebel armies , when still only a child themselves please look at the work of  Save the Children and Unicef.

They cannnot ask you but I can:

ARE YOU GOING TO JUST SIT THERE AND WATCH OR ARE YOU GOING TO DO SOMETHING TO HELP THESE VOICELESS VICTIMS OF SUCH TERRIBLE ABUSE?

I need to start this entry by briefly explaining that I am normally a great aurator and conversationalist.

However during a rather energic discusion over my phone bill my Mother posed a challenge: "I do not want you to use the mobile unless it's an emergency, as it costs too much. Please use facebook instead"!!!!

I straight away formed a very good arguemnt in head, about why my calling my friends was far easier and how she did not understand facebook etc etc.... I was about to spout forth and then.............

NO OPINIONS FOR A WEEK!

Ahhhhhhhhhh

Well not to put to fine a point on it, it took the wind right out of my sails. How could I defend my side of the story? How could I make my voice heard on the matter? I suddenly felt very controlled and limited in my speech.

I found myself nodding in agreement, well what else can you do.

Later the conversation turned to a topic very close to my heart and one my Mother and I disagree on quite passionatley. Suddenly I felt like screaming:

I HAVE A VOICE, AN OPINION AND ABOVE ALL A RIGHT TO EXPRESS IT LOUD AND CLEAR!!!

This got me thinking about not just the work of Oxfam but also of Amnesty International and what has happened to so many women around the world. How can it be right or justifiable to take away someones right to speak, to voice their opinions.

I particularly thought of Aung San Suu Kyi  Burma's pro-democracy leader and Nobel Peace Laureate, and how she has been under house arrest for most of her life for speaking out on what she believed was right, and against the brutal oppression of the Burmese Military Junta.

Aung San Suu Kyi

I also wanted to delve deeper into the issue of why women are often excluded form discussions on how to tackle poverty. In browsing the internet. I came upon Practical Action - a developemnt charity with a difference.

One of their most significant projects is Women's Voices. It is part of the Women's Information and Communications Technology (WICT) project.

The aim of the project is to help women have a say on the issue of poverty, and how best to combat it; and to give them a voice on a issue which disproportionalty affects them, but yet they traditionally have had little or no say on.

So I leave you with this question:

 HOW DO YOU THINK WE CAN GET MORE POOR WOMEN ENGAGED IN THE POVERTY DEBATE?

Hi

So this is it! Life with no opinion for a WHOLE WEEK!!!

For those of you who know me well and are reading this. It is an almost impossible task for me not to be voicing by opinion or debating a point on an issue close to my heart. So this challenge will be tough for me.

No opinion! Hmmmm

I was thinking over the idea yesterday night (interestingly voicing my opinions very loudly indeed upto 12am) and decided to look up online , what the word "opinion" actually means. This is what I found in the Accurate and Reliable dictionary:

"Opinion ¹

Definition: That which is opined; a notion or conviction founded on probable evidence; belief stronger than impression, less strong than positive knowledge; settled judgment in regard to any point of knowledge or action."

http://ardictionary.com/Opinion/1740

Ok, doesn't sound to bad. I just have to avoid making any statements I believe to be correct, without being actual FACTS. Hey this looks fairly easy!

The truth is however that you do not often know you are voicing your opinion in the first place. During a slightly heated vow with my partner last night, I must have on reflection, voiced my opinion several times. You just don't think about it normally. Suddenly it doesn't seem so easy after all. I start thinking that I should watch what I say, be more careful next time. However the only consequence of my not, is going to me doing very poorly in this challenge. For many women round the globe, this is not the case. Voicing their opinions is an action that may have many negative consequences for them. (This thought actually started to make me shudder last night.)

This set me thinking about the times I have said (often in an arguement) "I can say what I want". Well now I cannot.

Very quickly it starts to alter your attitude and behaviour. There is a constant voice in your head telling you to think carefully before you speak. Its almost like having your own internal censor, a strange and terrifying feeling. I feel suddenly limited in my choice of words and stifled in my speech. I am constantly thinking is that "opinion". 

You also start to think is saying " I would like " or " I want " an issue. You feel nervous asking in case you are asked to justify this choice, and end up trapped into giving your opinion on the matter.

I am less than12hrs into this challenge and it is already having  such an impact on me. I am nervous and excited about what the next week brings for me. I am most definately up for this challenge; and have set myself the task of trying to find out more about the women who have no choice but to "guard their tongues". I will do my best to share their stories with you.

Thanks for reading and please do leave comments!!!

Liz